My Mom made me run cross country at Cary High School. I wasn't the fastest but I'm so glad she made me do it. Thanks, Mom. Junior year I enjoyed running so much I ran track too. I still love running to this day and have even run a few half marathons and one full (not recommended). I also love running since there are no ridiculous obstacles like hurdles to block my path, just the open trail and the track ahead. Never understood hurdles. Running not hard enough for ya? Hurdlers say Let's add an obstacle every 10 yards! I guess they need a challenge? Or maybe they see the hurdle as an athletically poetic metaphor for life? |
While I don't love hurdles on the track, I see the hurdle as a nice metaphor for goal setting.
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My paternal grandfather Poppy died November 12, 2012. He was a good man. My fondest memory of him is odd but sweet: we’re in The Lake at the family “camp” throwing a sopping wet tennis ball up in the air and having it bounce on our head then trying to catch it. It’s harder than you think. I grew up playing in that same lake since I was a baby, circa 1979. That makes me sound ancient. My father grew up playing in that same lake since he was a baby, circa 1947. That actually is ancient. Sorry, Dad. The numbers don’t lie. You’re old - or at least older. As I’ve been known to say you’re not really old until you’re 100 like Granddad. My maternal grandfather lived to be 101. As far as I can tell, I figure you have nearly 30 years to live. No matter how many days you or I have left let’s live them to the fullest. Carpe Diem! Having places like “The Lake” to go to are so precious. They enable living life to the fullest, fostering fond memories like mine with Poppy. If you’re fortunate like us to have one like it - whether it’s a condo or a lake house or a cabin in the mountains - you know it is a priceless treasure. It would be impossible to quantify the memories. Until that day comes when you do have to place a value on it. That brings us back to that sad day in 2012 when Poppy passed at age 95. My grandmother, Mimi, had passed earlier in 2012, so the camp became co-owned by my father and his sister, my aunt. They have cooperated amicably ever since and everything is running smoothly to this day. My family, my sister's family and those of my cousins are the beneficiaries of their excellent management of the camp. I am so grateful. With any house there are of course expenses. Expenses like taxes and repairs are split 50/50 between them. My generation, which includes my family, my sister’s and my two cousins’ families, are basically their guests when we visit. We chip in by helping with projects around the camp when we’re there but they take care of the big ticket expenses. You see, we (or they, for the time being) do have to quantify the memories. The camp, the lake house that’s been in the family for basically 100 years, isn’t free to operate. Those expenses won’t pay for themselves. There’s no tax fairy that magically makes the taxes disappear. A topic of discussion during my time at The Lake this past summer was What will it look like for the four of us, the next generation, to take ownership one day? How will we split those expenses? It could happen like this: no one discusses the numbers, the expenses, but everyone still wants to spend time at The Lake with their respective families. And it all just happily works out forever. But that’s wishful thinking, pie in the sky. Cake in the lake? The reality is that life happens. Our neighbors at The Lake, who happen to be my second cousins, and my kids’ third cousins, have started to experience just that. Sadly, one of my father’s cousins died several years ago. The remaining three siblings who shared ownership bought out the spouse of the sister who had passed. Another sibling built his own place on the other side of The Lake and they bought him out as well. But by all accounts it was not easy. No numbers or procedures for doing these buyouts were in place. No financial structures were in place to facilitate payment of expenses. These were weaknesses. They were overcome but not without emotional hardship, which could have been avoided. As a blog about numbers, namely Strength in Numbers, that’s what I’m getting at here. We need to have Strength in Numbers so that these treasured vacation homes stay that way - treasured for the memories they foster. But without a plan in place that spells out clearly who is responsible for what, and how buyouts work, you don’t have that. And the once treasured vacation home becomes a source of financial stress, taking an emotional toll on the co-owners. So how do we get this Strength in Numbers? How do we create this Strength in Numbers? How do we avoid the financial and emotional stress of figuring all this out? It should happen like this: First, you put a plan in place. Perhaps that means obtaining a real estate lawyer to help draw up a trust that dictates mutually-agreed upon procedures for buyouts. Exact steps for valuing the property could be laid out so there's no room for argument when it comes to deciding who pays who what. Perhaps that means using that legal expert to establish a communally-funded account that covers the expenses. Second, you create a “payment plan” that spells out clearly the amount that each family is responsible for paying into that communally-funded account. One way is to consider variables like “body nights” as one cousin put it. Call up the nerd in the family to create a spreadsheet. If Family A has two adults and three children and they stay for ten days that’s 50 body nights. If Family B has one adult and two children and they stay for 14 days, then that’s 42 body nights. Family C with two adults and two children staying for just two nights makes 8 body nights. Let’s say that Family D doesn’t visit this particular year, so zero body nights. In this sample year there’s 100 body nights, so based on usage and wear and tear, it could be argued that Family A with 50 body nights should pay 50% of the operating costs for the given year. An Alternative would be that Family A is simply responsible for 25% because there are four families. But is that fair? Should Family D be responsible for any since they didn’t use it? Perhaps there's a blended compromise that says each of 4 heirs are responsible for one-fourth of, say, 50% of the taxes and other annual expenses, while the remaining 50% plus operating expenses are divvied up based on usage (body nights). Whether it is something like this, what is your pre-planned, prescribed procedure that spells out how costs are shared? These are the questions that the co-owners can and should discuss and decide on so that future generations avoid legal and financial feuds. For my family for now it’s just my father and his sister. They’ve got it all figured out. They have a high level of trust and strength of relationship that greases the wheel of a 50/50 split of expenses. The wheel keeps on spinning as the years pass. But there will come a day when it is not just the two siblings but the four cousins or later on down the road, the 11 grandchildren. It is shortsighted to say with rose-colored glasses that, as much as I love my cousins, there won’t be some question how we split the costs and how we manage the camp. We have the opportunity to establish a Strength in Planning Numbers, this financial and structural legacy, for those that will come after us so that they know exactly how this works. My hope is that your family and mine establish Strength in Numbers by putting into place legal structures and financial plans, so that your grandchildren and mine play catch in The Lake with a wet tennis ball with their grandchildren without having to worry about a thing. Mark B. Anderson Tutor & Founder, Strength in Numbers Tutoring This unprecedented school year begins with remote learning. We are dependent on electronic devices of all types: laptops, tablets, and phones. Personal devices and school-loaners. All this electronic dependency is simultaneously preferable for some, prohibitive for others, and uncomfortable for just about everyone. Me included. If we rewind the clock to pre-computer days - yes, there was a time when people were not on some electronic device - then we get to a time when teachers connected with students' parents and guardians with the old-fashioned telephone. And it was probably corded too... oh, the inconvenience. When a student nowadays is not connected to his or her teacher's learning platform or learning management system (LMS) or fails to join a Zoom class, we teachers revert back to that old-fashioned stand-by, the telephone. And too many of the students on our rosters are relative no-shows in remote learning, i.e., "Plan C". And sadly, too many of those students' phone numbers that are stored in schools' databases are not working, or ring to someone who's never heard of the student we're calling about. We teachers need working phone numbers to text and talk with parents and keep them abreast of what's going on in class and in school. Schools have automated calling systems that alert parents and guardians to everything from emergency situations like lockdowns to announcements of upcoming events like prom and SAT Test dates. Teachers utilize parent telephone numbers to connect with them via texting apps like Remind.com or a multitude of other options. Teachers make calls, one-by-one, to reach out to students who haven't engaged in remote learning.
Teachers and counselors and social workers and administrators call to follow up with students who have fallen off the radar, failing to attend Zoom calls or falling behind in their coursework. But, we rely on accurate phone numbers to make these connections. Without it, there is a disconnect, a breakdown in communication. Parents need to contact their children's school to update their phone numbers when they change. It is a weakness that is easily corrected. Just contact or stop by your child's school and provide your new contact information. Working connections like updated and accurate phone numbers are the lifeline to a student's success. Imagine that, Strength in Numbers... this time it's just a Strength in Phone Numbers. Mark B. Anderson Tutor & Founder, Strength in Numbers Tutoring We’ve all tried to do it. Maybe it’s losing 20 pounds or paying off $20,000 in debt or writing 200 pages. We’ve all tried to reach some big goal and if you’re like the rest of us, you’ve failed too many times to count. Ahh, the irony. I’m not suggesting you count your failures, although that is an intriguing idea. I am suggesting you and I start small, counting one pound lost, one dollar saved, one page written. I’m saying there is Strength in Numbers - strength in counting numbers and starting small. Let me explain. I have for some time wanted to increase my fitness and get stronger. Enter my friend Matt Treppel who happens to be the Area Director for the Southeast NC chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), and who happens to be awesome. Matt invited me to join the 100-day Burpee Challenge. Right away I knew this was perfect. You do exactly ONE burpee on Day ONE then TWO burpees on Day TWO and ... you get the picture. Yes that means 100 burpees on Day 100. So there is clearly a level of commitment happening. But ONE burpee on the first day? That’s it? “I could do that!” you’re probably saying. I said the same thing.
If I suggested that you lose one pound this month, would you feel offended? Or “Hey, can you save $1 dollar in the piggy bank today?” “Can you write one page today?” Like me you might say, “Yes, obviously I can do that! What kind of person do you think I am?” Offending yourself may be the just the thing you need to do to achieve your goal. It’s all about establishing the daily habit. I got a little happy kick out of recording my 5 burpees on Day FIVE. There was huge satisfaction recording my 50 burpees on Day FIFTY. Not sure yet what it’s going to feel like once I’ve counted all the way up to 100. The strength in counting numbers and starting small that we’re talking about here is all about easing yourself into a discipline. Establishing a daily habit. Personally I still like recording the numbers and seeing my progress. There are some days I do my burpees only for that reason. I’m not yet on the next level where I’m doing burpees because it’s good for me. (Can I get a witness?) My old friend Clint Henry encouraged me as a runner. I was of course counting my miles run as well as using my love for music to motivate my running and it worked. I ran three half marathons and began to love the rush and results of running - and not just the music. Clint though was on that next level. He ran because he loved it - no music. I have some work to go to get there. Maybe I’m alone in that I sometimes don’t want to crawl out of bed at 5:30am for a run. But I am on the track - literally and figuratively - towards that next level. I started small doing 1 and 2 mile runs on my way to logging 200 miles before ending big, crossing the finish line of a half in a respectable 1 hour and 45 minutes. So... start small. END BIG. By the way Clint did his half in 1:15 ... but anyways. Here’s the takeaway:
You will at least start toward your goal (starting is the hardest part) and you will also greatly increase the likelihood of “ending big” by achieving your your goal. One day you might find yourself not counting anymore and actually enjoying the process. Until then develop your strength in counting numbers, starting small. Mark B. Anderson Tutor & Founder, Strength in Numbers Tutoring |
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