My Mom made me run cross country at Cary High School. I wasn't the fastest but I'm so glad she made me do it. Thanks, Mom. Junior year I enjoyed running so much I ran track too. I still love running to this day and have even run a few half marathons and one full (not recommended). I also love running since there are no ridiculous obstacles like hurdles to block my path, just the open trail and the track ahead. Never understood hurdles. Running not hard enough for ya? Hurdlers say Let's add an obstacle every say 10 yards! I guess they need a challenge? Or maybe they see the hurdle as an athletically poetic metaphor for life? |
While I don't love hurdles on the track, I see the hurdle as a nice metaphor for goal setting.
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It was March 2014 and I had pretty much oozed into my chair at work. Hadn't worked out much if at all. Whatever New Year's resolutions I had set for improving fitness had faded away a couple months earlier. So I decided to climb Mount Everest. One of the wellness guys in my office said that the simple act of taking the stairs was a great way to get your heart rate up and improve fitness. But there was a problem. Starting up a habit like taking the stairs - to the 10th floor - wasn't just going to happen like a big bang. Nope, I wasn't internally motivated to do it just because it was healthy. Maybe you can relate. I needed to shape a goal that was fun and memorable and even inspiring. Technically speaking, I needed to quantify my goal. That's the "M" in S.M.A.R.T. goal setting. I needed to make my stair-stepping goal Measurable. When you have to measure something what do you turn to? A ruler, of course. So I grabbed my ruler and measured one step in the stairwell. After a few calculations I figured I would need to climb 49,764 stairs to say I climbed Mount Everest. OK, the equivalent of Mount Everest... without the snow... and without deadly freezing temperatures. The point is this: I found something that motivated me, and who cares if it's silly. On Dec 31, 2014 I reached the summit - the locked door of the 13th-floor roof access inside an endless stairwell, echoing my gasps for air. But I did it. Like many goals, it wasn't so much the last step that was so glorious, although it was a good feeling. It was looking back on my spreadsheet seeing all those days when I climbed 400 steps or more.
I had achieved my goal to improve my overall fitness. What's your Mount Everest? Share your wild goal for 2021. Or share whatever your raw goal is ("I want to lose weight") and I'll be happy to help you craft your own "Mount Everest" ... "I will lose the equivalent of 25 Big Macs" perhaps? Next post: Setting Reasonable Goals, which kind of sounds like the opposite of this post. You'll have to read and see for yourself. Mark B. Anderson Tutor & Founder, Strength in Numbers Tutoring ![]() When I was a boy my father would carry me out of bed at 5:30am, drop me in the car, and start in on our 12 hour drive home from vacation in Massachusetts. I would wake up around 7:00 and voila! we were already in Connecticut! It made the trip feel much more manageable. I did the same on a couple drives from North Carolina to Florida for football bowl games during my college days. We started out with just a coffee at 5:30 and didn't stop for breakfast until 7:30 and bang! we already had 120 miles under our belt. Paul Reiser, the other star of that 90's comedy, Mad About You, wrote a book called Parenthood. Being the funny guy he is, the book literally started on page 120. After cracking it open and reading just a few minutes, I was already on page 125! I have to admit, it felt good. As we mercifully put 2020 in the rearview and hope for better things to come in 2021, we will set some goals, the inevitable New Year's Resolutions. Like that book and like my dad, we ought to do the same - give ourselves a head start. Granted, it feels a like a gimmick, but it's a legitimate trick. You're still doing the work. You're just getting a head start. By starting early you're proving to yourself you want to work toward your goal not because of an arbitrary date on the calendar, but because you simply want it. I have a goal to complete 5,000 exercise reps by January 31. So I started early even though it's like any other New Year's goal. I'm already approaching 1,000 so I'm well on my way. And if I get that head start, I'm more likely to finish the goal. Anyone ever started a goal only to give up on it because you couldn't get started? Problem solved. Start early... go ahead and read one book, lose pound, or run one mile. Then set the goal and backdate the start of the goal. I use the Runkeeper app to track the miles I run. It allows you to set mileage goals and it allows you to backdate. So I do this all the time. I'm already 5% of the way toward my goal when I set it up! What's your New Year's goal? Is it measurable? If it is, then give yourself a head start! Mark B. Anderson Tutor & Founder, Strength in Numbers Tutoring It was like clockwork - literally. Every morning at 5:30 on the dot my infant son Crawford would wake up. I would jump out of bed to give his mom a few extra minutes to sleep in. I wanted to start a good habit early on in his life. So we did "Juice and Bible Time" every morning. Precious moments. Not being super creative I read the same chapter of Proverbs to him every day for a year. Proverbs 3 teaches principles like "Let love and faithfulness never leave you" and "Do not be wise in your own eyes". The takeaway is that he should orient himself to God, trusting in him with all his heart.
But how do you do that? Well, turning a few pages back you find Proverbs 2. There the writer lays out what is foundational to finding the knowledge of God and finding your way in life - in a word, "understanding". Together the words "understanding" and "understand" are used 6 times in the first 11 verses.
You don't have to believe in God to see the value and validity of this principle. The Bible says that seeking understanding is foundational to obtaining the knowledge of God. But seeking understanding is also foundational for living in a world where you simply don't know everything. And none of us knows everything. We are finite beings and yet there is an infinity beyond ourselves. We will meet and interact with hundreds even thousands of people in our lifetimes in professional and social circles. There are "school subjects" by the semester-load like mathematics, chemistry, economics, history and art. There are political ideologies on a continuum spanning the extreme left and the fundamental right. How do we engage with these people? What is our attitude toward learning? How open are we to ideas that may differ from those we are born with or have been taught? With understanding. With an open mind. With a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. This is the first blog in a 7-part series that explores the nature of success. Lao Tzu opined that a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. The journey of success begins with understanding. If there's anything we all can agree on it's that we each want to make a difference. We want to make the world a better place. But... those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. George Bernard Shaw's words are true if we do not have an attitude open to understanding. They are true if we do not have a mindset that seeks understanding. Our attitude is our emotional stance toward the world. Our mindset is our mental stance toward the world. My dad used to tell me as a teenager that I needed an attitude change. My kids' other grandfather likes to say he needs to go into the woods "to get his mind right". Let's do both. Let's change our attitude AND get our minds right so we are open to understanding other people, new subjects and different ideas. Then we'll be growing and learning, and that's the recipe for success. This wouldn't be a blog about numbers without some connection to math or counting. The practical takeaway is to write out what you learn. Make a list of what you have come to understand. Number them in a journal. You might even write up your personal Top Ten Life Lessons. Once you establish the habit of numbering your lessons learned, success will come ... like clockwork. Next post in this series will address what you can actually do to gain understanding. Let's just say I will attempt to explain. You'll be surprised. The plan is to post every Tuesday. Mark B. Anderson Tutor & Founder, Strength in Numbers Tutoring My paternal grandfather Poppy died November 12, 2012. He was a good man. My fondest memory of him is odd but sweet: we’re in The Lake at the family “camp” throwing a sopping wet tennis ball up in the air and having it bounce on our head then trying to catch it. It’s harder than you think. ![]() I grew up playing in that same lake since I was a baby, circa 1979. That makes me sound ancient. My father grew up playing in that same lake since he was a baby, circa 1947. That actually is ancient. Sorry, Dad. The numbers don’t lie. You’re old - or at least older. As I’ve been known to say you’re not really old until you’re 100 like Granddad. My maternal grandfather lived to be 101. As far as I can tell, I figure you have nearly 30 years to live. No matter how many days you or I have left let’s live them to the fullest. Carpe Diem! Having places like “The Lake” to go to are so precious. They enable living life to the fullest, fostering fond memories like mine with Poppy. If you’re fortunate like us to have one like it - whether it’s a condo or a lake house or a cabin in the mountains - you know it is a priceless treasure. It would be impossible to quantify the memories. Until that day comes when you do have to place a value on it. That brings us back to that sad day in 2012 when Poppy passed at age 95. My grandmother, Mimi, had passed earlier in 2012, so the camp became co-owned by my father and his sister, my aunt. They have cooperated amicably ever since and everything is running smoothly to this day. I am so grateful. Expenses like taxes and repairs are split 50/50 between them. My generation, which includes my family, my sister’s and my two cousins’ families, are basically their guests when we visit. We chip in by helping with projects around the camp when we’re there but they take care of the big ticket expenses. You see, we (or they, for the time being) do have to quantify the memories. The camp, the lake house that’s been in the family for basically 100 years, isn’t free to operate. Those expenses won’t pay for themselves. There’s no tax fairy that magically makes the taxes disappear even though A topic of discussion during my time at The Lake this past summer was what will it look like for the four of us, the next generation, to take ownership one day? How will we split those expenses? It could happen like this: no one discusses the numbers, the expenses, but everyone still wants to spend time at The Lake with their respective families. And it all just happily works out forever. But that’s wishful thinking, pie in the sky. Cake in the lake? The reality is that life happens. Our neighbors at The Lake, who happen to be my second cousins, and my kids’ third cousins, have started to experience just that. Sadly, one of my father’s cousins died several years ago. The remaining three siblings who shared ownership bought out the spouse of the sister who passed. Another sibling built his own place on the other side of The Lake and they bought him out as well. But by all accounts it was not easy. No numbers or procedures for doing these buyouts were in place. No financial structures were in place to facilitate payment of expenses. These were weaknesses. They were overcome but not without emotional hardship, which could have been avoided. As a blog about numbers, namely Strength in Numbers, that’s what I’m getting at here. We need to have Strength in Numbers so that these treasured vacation homes stay that way - treasured for the memories they foster. But without a plan in place that spells out clearly who is responsible for what, and how buyouts work, you don’t have that. And the once treasured vacation home becomes a source of financial stress, taking an emotional toll on the co-owners. So how do we get this Strength in Numbers? How do we create this Strength in Numbers? How do we avoid the financial and emotional stress of figuring all this out? It should happen like this: First, you put a plan in place. Perhaps that means obtaining a real estate lawyer to help draw up a trust that dictates mutually-agreed upon procedures for buyouts. Exact steps for valuing the property could be laid out so there's no room for argument when it comes to deciding who pays who what. Perhaps that means using that legal expert to establish a communally-funded account that covers the expenses. Second, you create a “payment plan” that spells out clearly the amount that each family is responsible for paying into that communally-funded account. One way is to consider variables like “body nights” as one cousin put it. Call up the nerd in the family to create a spreadsheet. If Family A has two adults and three children and they stay for ten days that’s 50 body nights. If Family B has one adult and two children and they stay for 14 days, then that’s 42 body nights. Family C with two adults and two children staying for just two nights makes 8 body nights. Let’s say that Family D doesn’t visit this particular year, so zero body nights. In this sample year there’s 100 body nights, so based on usage and wear and tear, it could be argued that Family A with 50 body nights should pay 50% of the operating costs for the given year. An Alternative would be that Family A is simply responsible for 25% because there are four families. But is that fair? Should Family D be responsible for any since they didn’t use it? Perhaps there's a blended compromise that says each of 4 heirs are responsible for one-fourth of, say, 50% of the taxes and other annual expenses, while the remaining 50% plus operating expenses are divvied up based on usage (body nights). Whether it is something like this, what is your pre-planned, prescribed procedure that spells out how costs are shared? These are the questions that the co-owners can and should discuss and decide on so that future generations avoid legal and financial feuds. For my family for now it’s just my father and his sister. They’ve got it all figured out. They have a high level of trust and strength of relationship that greases the wheel of a 50/50 split of expenses. The wheel keeps on spinning as the years pass. But there will come a day when it is not just the two siblings but the four cousins or later on down the road the 11 grandchildren. It is shortsighted to say with rose-colored glasses that, as much as I love my cousins, there won’t be some question how we split the costs and how we manage the camp. We have the opportunity to establish a Strength in Planning Numbers, this financial and structural legacy, for those that will come after us so that they know exactly how this works. My hope is that your family and mine establish Strength in Numbers by putting into place legal structures and financial plans, so that your grandchildren and mine play catch in The Lake with a wet tennis ball with their grandchildren without having to worry about a thing. Mark B. Anderson Tutor & Founder, Strength in Numbers Tutoring |
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